Asking Eric: Splitting the check creates rift between wife and son

Published On: July 22, 2025

Dear Eric:

My wife and son got into a heated argument after he told her that he had dated a woman three times, and on the third date, he asked her if she wanted to split the bill. The woman later texted him that she didn’t want to go out with him anymore. My wife told our son that it should be up to the man to pay when dating.

My son strongly disagreed, telling her that she was old-fashioned and that the current practice is for those who are dating to split the expenses. Who is right?

– Confused Dad

Dear Dad:

Dating is about finding a person who shares one’s values and vision for life. One of your son’s values is, apparently, sharing expenses at a certain point. This is totally fine.

Dates can be expensive. My mother used to say, “Romance without finance is a nuisance,” and I always remembered that when I wanted to go on a date, but my pockets were a little light. Your son and the woman weren’t compatible in their views about paying for the date. That doesn’t make him or your wife right. He was doing what works for him and openly communicating with his date about it. One hopes that he’ll find someone who shares that value and has no problem splitting the check.