To Annie, please:Since graduating from college two years ago, my 23-year-old son has been without a job. He graduated with a degree in a very competitive industry, yet he hasn’t been able to find employment in his field. Although we are aware that it may take some time to find the ideal opportunity, our concerns are growing.
He maintains that he will become stuck and never be able to escape if he accepts a job that is not in line with his chosen professional path. We have attempted to reason with him, urging him to obtain experience—even if it is unrelated—in order to prevent his résumé from being entirely blank. He refuses to change despite our advice, networking opportunities, and moral support.
Within reason, we don’t mind that he still lives at home, but the money he saved from working part-time while attending college is quickly running out. Seeing him remain motionless as the months pass is annoying. He claims to be waiting for the proper fit, but we are concerned that he may be holding himself back out of pride or fear.
How do we make him realize that any labor, no matter how small, is preferable than no work at all? And how can we help him without making this pattern possible? I respect your knowledge and would be grateful for any advice you could provide him and us. —Apprehensive Parents in Limbo
To Worried:You have good reason to be worried. It might be challenging to justify a two-year lapse on a résumé, particularly in the early post-graduation years. Although your son’s desire to work in his chosen industry is great, it is cynical and, to be honest, self-defeating for him to refuse to accept any jobs in the interim.
There’s more to work than a title. It develops character, instills discipline, and frequently opens up unanticipated doors. Nobody’s entire future is determined by their first job after graduating from college. Sitting at home and waiting for perfection is what shapes the future. That is fear masquerading as pride, not strategy.
Tell your kid that although you still love him, you can no longer be passive. He must make a contribution, whether it is through employment, voluntary work, an internship, or even further education. Additionally, it could be time to start charging rent if his finances are running low—not as a form of punishment, but as a way to get him to face reality.
Refusing to soften the fall is sometimes the most loving thing a parent can do.
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How Can My Partner Who Cheated Be Forgiven? is currently available! Both print and e-book versions of Annie Lane’s second anthology, which includes her favorite pieces on marriage, adultery, communication, and reconciliation, are available. For additional information, go to Creators Publishing. For Annie Lane, send inquiries to [email protected].
