Greetings, Miss MannersI’m a teetotaler. Most of our pals and my husband are wine and spirit experts. This is usually not an issue because I can graciously withdraw from any gatherings that are mainly about enjoying drink.
However, there are occasions when hosting supper at our house presents an etiquette dilemma. In general, the first few hours go smoothly, with pleasant discussion and a love of food and companionship. However, the event eventually turns from a dinner party into a drinking session.
By this, I mean that after the dinner, the guests stay at the table and drink, with my husband refilling their glasses. Eventually, the voices get a little louder and the arguments a little more confused, making the conversation more passionate than I can follow. This may go on for several hours.
Everyone is enjoying themselves, and I’m glad my visitors are having a wonderful time without having to drive home. Even though I’ve been left behind, I don’t want to stop the pleasure.
However, I would prefer to get started on my dishes and excuse myself from the table when this occurs. Is there a classy way to do this without giving the impression that the celebration is over?
GENTLE READER: Oddly, you are not drinking, but the alcohol is impairing everyone’s judgment in this situation, including yours.
You cannot appropriately leave your own party as the host, even though Miss Manners is aware that you have grown bored with it and that the guests are unlikely to notice you are not there.
Controlling both the amount of time and the amount of alcohol consumed is the answer. You didn’t continue serving the pot roast until the visitors pleaded for forgiveness, after all. Therefore, eventually, offer coffee instead of wine. Your guests will be appreciative the next morning, even if they are not at the time.
Stories by
Judith Martin
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Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via postal mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106, or by phone at missmanners.com.
