Greetings, Miss MannersThe majority of English speakers pronounce my last name more phonetically, however my family has pronounced in a certain manner over the years.
I always tell people how I pronounce things if they ask, but I never correct someone who pronounces it phonetically since I don’t care, in part because it sounds impolite.However, an old friend has discovered that she has been mispronouncing my name for decades. She accused me of being impolite for not correcting her right away and saving her the humiliation of saying it incorrectly for so long.
If I don’t care about what people are saying, should I correct them beforehand?
GENTLE READER: Miss Manners has heard that not caring is a fine and refreshing excuse for not being rude.
However, you may tell your friend, “It never bothered me, and honestly, I am so used to hearing it the way you say it that it didn’t occur to me to correct you,” just to keep your connection intact. However, I never intended to be impolite or hurt your feelings. Please pardon me.
Naturally, you can gently correct someone’s pronunciation if it comes up in conversation in the future. In other words, the English are hilarious when they make a mistake. Instead of being spelled Shufflebotham, it should be pronounced Shufflebottom.
Stories by
Judith Martin
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Miss Manners: Salespeople keep violating my No soliciting sign
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Miss Manners: I want to complain about a homeless man s speech
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via postal mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106, or by phone at missmanners.com.
