Greetings, Miss MannersA few miles distant from us reside my husband’s cousin and her spouse. When the cousins were growing up, their parents were quite close, but as adults, they stopped communicating with each other.
For birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and other occasions, I like to send greeting cards, and this relative is on my list. On social media, we are also pals.
She sends me a note suggesting that we meet for lunch at some point, but she doesn’t provide any specifics. She accepts my suggested time, date, and location, but she always cancels on the day of the appointment.
It annoys my spouse, but I’ve learned to accept this and don’t give it much thought. Even though I am aware that they will probably be canceled at the last minute, should I still make suggestions?
PERSONAL READER:Respond with something equally ambiguous the next time your relative suggests a get-together: That would be fantastic. Breaking the pattern will give everyone something fresh to think about, even if it doesn’t modify her behavior.
Stories by
Judith Martin
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Miss Manners: I m the only sober one at my own dinner parties
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Miss Manners: I coughed in public. How profusely must I apologize?
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Miss Manners: My wealthy relative can t stop bragging about her money
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Miss Manners: I was treated like a decoration at my husband s work dinner
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Miss Manners: Condensation conundrum: how to sip without making a mess
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via postal mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106, or by phone at missmanners.com.
